The Future of Ludere Sapiens

A crossroads, a chance, and my personal ambitions.

Photo by Christophe Ferron on Unsplash

Hello there! I hope you're having an alright day. Depending on where you are at the moment, your chances of having an okay day may be low. Still, my sincere wish is that this message finds you happy. If that's not possible, at least I hope you can find happiness, in something, whatever it may be.

Ludere Sapiens started when following the advice of someone I respect very much, I decided to create a space for writing and expressing my thoughts, but also trying to prove my viability as a writer for other outlets, like websites and magazines. At the very least, my potential for being good at penmanship.

Whether I succeeded or not according to you, this week I became confident enough to try and start reaching out to different outlets offering my services. I'm also in the process of preparing different pitches, trying to get some sent by tomorrow. It's a new world for me, and I'm a bit nervous about it. But I want to do it.

A Look at the Past

I love writing, narrative, and art. I love the way games provide an intersection between storytelling and interactivity. It's something new, that I adore profusely. Even though “narrative design” is an established discipline, I think a lot of people outside the space don't really get what games are about, and how important they can be for culture and art.

From a very young age, I've always wanted to make games, write for games, and write about games. I've made several attempts in the past, but I couldn't find the consistency and perseverance to move through the initial frustrations of learning something new. I'm too lazy, or too dumb, that's what I thought.

Turns out I have ADHD, and on top of that, a very severe sleep apnea. I'm already treating both conditions, and things have improved, this blog is proof of me being able to concentrate much more than before. I think I'm ready to do what I want to do, and finally learn to make games.

I've gone to college for game development before, but I had to drop out. I couldn't concentrate, and I was making my parents pay for something I wasn't really doing anything with. So last year I stopped, I thought I was meant for oblivion, and just gave up…

…until something cracked, inside of me. The resentment towards myself I've become accustomed to became overwhelming, my whole being was rejecting my attempt at giving up. There has to be something. I had already started treating myself for ADHD. But I wasn't seeing improvements. Surely it meant that I wasn't meant for anything.

I insisted, looked for more opinions, and a neurologist sharply suggested sleep apnea. I underwent a study and, alas, yes. The simultaneous relief and despair of knowing I could have had a stroke during my sleep at any time during the last ten years was really shocking, and hurtful. But now I knew the truth and proceeded to… …wait for the healthcare provider to approve my C-PAP. Not fun.
But finally, like a month later, I had the apparatus with me. A new year started, and I was able to be hopeful. Maybe this time I can do it. I don't want to be perfect, I just want to be myself and work on the things I like. And I started doing that!

It's been amazing. And as I started feeling more confident, and decided to try and become a professional, the truth became obvious and made the switch urgent.

The Bottom Line

I want to study game development. I currently don't have the money. I also have different needs and projects that require me to put money in and that's certainly not happening with things as they are. I want to pay for it myself, as I am the older of three brothers, and I want my mother to be able to support them too.

While I've plugged my Ko-Fi at the end of every post, it's been more out of formality. I didn't really expect anyone to donate, and I don't expect you to do it now. The truth is that I hadn't prioritized making this a job, it was just fun. And it is fun, but I need to be more professional about it.

Funnily enough, this doesn't mean making a paid column, as I want people to enjoy my writing. Also, I'm not a fool, I know I haven't precisely built Ludere Sapiens as something more than a random assortment of write-ups. I intend to change that from now on, and I hope the result is something better for my readers. And also, hopefully, more readers.

(As an aside, I can't even use Stripe in my country, so I couldn't make a paid column even if I wanted to.)

Better Comunication

My write-ups don't gain much traction, and I know precisely the reason. I'm not really promoting them. I mean, yes, if you're here you probably saw me post them on Bluesky. But let's be clear, I just wrote a sentence and pasted a link. That's not a hook, most people are not gonna be interested.

I've also avoided doing much of talking about the blog outside of posting the links. I'll start talking about the things I'm writing, asking for input, and gauging interest in topics. Generally, I want it to feel like Ludere Sapiens is an ongoing project and not just a random place where I throw writings.

I do some other content, but it tends to be in Spanish, as that's my native language. I've considered making things in English, I might try and make a YouTube channel for English content, but streaming will remain in Spanish for now.

I'm also trying to reach out and talk with more people that I feel might share my feelings about narrative and might want to talk and such. You know, the networking thing. I'm supposed to do that, I'll do it, I'll be sociable, alright, Mom.

A Question of Quality

I've debated internally the issue of LS' content many times. I think the theme is pretty clear in the About section, but in my quest for making a portfolio, I just tried and covered whatever. That's not bad. But from now on I'll try to post less frequently, with more meaningful content, or at the very least content that might be more interesting to me.

That means you might encounter a weird or eccentric piece here and there, and I hope you'll indulge in my artistic endeavors. I'll make my best effort to make every single write-up something worth a person's time.

Since I'm pitching to places, most of my ideas will first be offered to outlets, but there will always be something I wanna keep to myself, and if that's the case, it'll be right here, in my happy place.

Support me?

If you want to support me, there are many different ways to do so:

• Make a donation in US dollars or Argentine pesos

• Subscribe to Ludere Sapiens and share it around with friends

• If you know somewhere accepting pitches, or you are, feel free to message me on Bluesky and let me know.

• Likewise if you know of somewhere hiring.

That's all for now! Happy to be able to write this for you. I hope it can become something special with time.